The Other day I was over at my parent’s place. I had a window of time before I had to go pick up the kids from school and I had asked my mom if she would dye my hair for me. I had a couple of extra boxes of semi-permanent colour that I wanted to use up. Many of you have traversed the waters of graying hair. I have had gray hair showing up for at least 5-7 years, but have never felt the need to do anything about it. In fact, many who are close to me will recall me making statements about embracing gray, and likely even recall me questioning their decisions to cover up their grays. Well this spring Gray has made its statement appearance at the party of my life and I’m not so sure I’m ready to give it an All-Access pass. Hence, reaching out to my mom to ask her if she would help me dip my toes in the waters of gray coverage. Obviously semi-permanent doesn’t cover grays but it does help blend them a bit while I make decisions about the commitment I want to make to colouring my hair regularly. A couple things came out of this afternoon hair dying session. Firstly, I think I’ve decided that I will re-evaluate the commitment of hair colouring in my forties and live out the remainder of my thirties embracing the fact that I am still a young(ish) woman. Two, it feels really good to feel good about yourself. Not in a narcissistic way, but rather in a confident way. Recently (as in over the last year) I have been slowly reading through a book called “Worthy of Wearing” by Nicole M. Caruso. I highly recommend this book for any woman seeking to live a life that brings honour to Jesus Christ and is also wanting to discover what it means to feel beautiful from the inside out, and live with the knowledge that God deeply cares about how we think and feel about ourselves.
While being grilled by the religious leaders of the day (the ones who perpetuated the lie that you needed to perform for worth) as to whether He [Jesus] truly knew God’s heart, one asked:
“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?” Jesus answered him, “‘Love the Lord your God with every passion of your heart, with all the energy of your being, and with every thought that is within you.’ This is the great and supreme commandment. And the second is like it in importance: ‘You must love your friend [neighbour or one in close emotional proximity] in the same way you love yourself.’ Contained within these commandments to love you will find all the meaning of the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:35-40)
Did you catch that? We are supposed to love our friends/neighbours/family in the SAME way that we love ourselves. I checked up the greek word for SAME (hós), and it means exactly what it says. The word hós means “in the same way, as, like as, as long as, when, since”. So how well are we loving ourselves? I think that many of us wouldn’t even have any friends left if we talked to our friends the way we talk to ourselves. The internal dialogue of self-criticism and self-loathing, although it can have the appearance of humility, is in fact pride as its perspective rejects and exalts itself against the way that God sees us and talks about us. If you’re anything like me, I have feared walking in selfishness and so easily accept self-degradation as a form of holiness. This couldn’t be further from the truth. As the Holy Spirit begins to open my eyes to see the beauty of Christ and how loved I am by him, how much God values the nuance of my personhood and celebrates me walking in the confidence of who He says I am the easier it is to celebrate and love others and even champion their strengths, skills and beauty. It’s exactly what Jesus said would happen – the way we love ourselves will determine how we love others.
Here are a few verses to begin reflecting on that God declares about our new identity found in Christ Jesus:
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:15
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” 1Peter 2:9-10