You’re going to have to track with me a bit through this post because I’m touching on a few things that for me all tie together, none of which I can fully dive into in one post (or a hundred hah).
The other night one of my daughters asked me if babies were born speaking a language. I am not a linguist, audiologist or speech pathologist; however, it seems evident to me that each of us end up speaking the language that we hear spoken to us and over us. This truth has been quite profound to me as I reflect over the last year or two as the Lord has been doing a deep-dive into my own identity beliefs. If you believe in a loving, ever-present God whose primary concern is close and loving connection with the people he has made in his likeness, hearing his voice would seem to be important. Not all of my relationships carry the same degree of verbal communication, but all of the various forms of communication including body language, facial expressions, emotions, and gestures shape and colour the health of each relationship; unquestionably, all of my human relationships depend on good communication in order to be healthy. It is no different in our relationship with God. Our ability to hear or read his communication to us and respond in relationship back to him is of utmost importance. In fact, it is a matter of Life and Death.
Humans cannot live apart from the voice of God (Deut 8:3; Matt 4:4; Luke4:4). Yes, we can still breathe and function in our humanity to a degree apart from loving connection with God, but our God isn’t interested in us simply surviving life! If Jesus, after forty days and nights of no food or drink, turned down the opportunity to turn a stone into a loaf of bread at his point of greatest physical hunger because it would compromise his ability to stay sensitive to His Father’s voice, then this “living” by his voice must be of utmost importance. Jesus said, when he taught about his role as our shepherd, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I [Jesus] came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” His concern for us is abundant and full living.
When I look at Jesus’ life, it is evident that he withdrew to spend time with his Father diligently and regularly. He knew that He couldn’t do anything eternally effective apart from his Father. Jesus’ prayer life was so striking to his disciples that one of the only, if not the only recorded times in the gospels where they explicitly ask him to teach them something, was concerning prayer (Luke 11:1). In the last while, I have very much wrestled through what my understanding of prayer is. I think many of us have hang ups with prayer because we associate with prayer all of our unanswered prayers, our hurtful perceptions of God’s nature and the reality that we can actually get a lot done without ever needing to pray. So, for me, I have been wondering if prayer is more than the reciting of psalms and ancient words, worship and praise or sadly even the idea of “working for God” or religious ritual to make him more pleased with me. Yet, I see Jesus as the One carrying an easy yoke and light burden, bringing rest to our souls (Matt 11:28-30). I observe Him resisting bitterness and grudges in the face of criticism and persecution (John 7:1-13; Luke 11:14-23; Luke 4:29-31). He freely forgives and loves His enemies (Luke 6:27-36, 23:34), walks in outrageous generosity (Luke 9:1-2; Mark 6 and 8; Matt 20: 1-16), and apprehends strategies and ideas that no one else would think of to meet human need (John 2:1-12; Matt 17:24-27; Luke 5:1-11). He remains at peace in the face of fearful circumstances (Mark 4:35-41; John 18 and 19) and is able to associate and build connections with anyone, regardless of gender, status, or race (John 4; Luke 5:27-32; Luke 10:25-37).These are just a few highlights of his life, and He says that he only does what He sees his Father doing and only says what he hears the Father saying.
Knowing his Father’s heart and nature was paramount for changing the world. Jesus received the language of his Father in prayer and then lived his life communicating who his Father is to the world. Can you imagine what the world could look like if we walked in the same manner that Jesus walked? Deeply loved, free from offense and bitterness, peaceful on the inside, outrageously generous, abounding in strategy, creativity and innovation, ending wars and building anew. Not to mention, LIGHT-HEARTED and joyful.
This leads me to conclude that prayer must primarily be about fostering our response to God’s initiation for close relationship, where we draw near to Him and experience transformation in our beliefs, thoughts, and actions. This transformation allows us to become the world-changers we were always meant to be. This relationship is not confined to specific moments, but is experienced continuously—whether commuting to work, doing household chores, falling on our knees at dawn, enjoying a wine night with friends, supporting a discouraged spouse, waiting for a wayward child, processing critique, having our lives compared to someone else, playing recreational sports, or closing an important business deal. Recognizing God’s language and communication through a deep sense of belonging with Him is vital. This profound connection is the primary focus of attack by the enemy of our souls, the great thief and deceiver, who tirelessly works to corrupt, sabotage, and undermine it. I mention this exact dynamic when I highlight Eve’s story in Genesis 3. Satan, the deceiver, strives to sever our connection to God’s wisdom and resources for addressing human needs. He seeks to hinder us from walking in divine creativity and innovation, and to discourage us from forgiving those who have wronged us. By placing heavy burdens on us, he aims to suffocate our joy and peace. Most importantly, he wants to prevent us from knowing that we are deeply loved and belong, by convincing us that something about us disqualifies us from God’s nearness.
Let’s return to the original observation at the beginning of this post where I took notice that each of us end up speaking the language that we hear spoken to us and over us. God’s primary method of world transformation is through people– through their personal identity beliefs, words and actions. We (you and me) communicate a message about God, ourselves and others through what we hear spoken over our lives (2 Corinthians 5:17-21). Jesus is the full message of God to all of creation and his life tells creation who his Father is and that He is himself for us unbreakable, imperishable and unfading connection with the Father. It remains then that nothing can separate us from the Love of God that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:39) except that we do not believe it. Satan’s tactic is to convince individuals that they are inherently unworthy of divine connection and that there is an unbridgeable gap between themselves personally and God. By shaping our self-perception and belief system through his hollow and slimy whispers, Satan encourages us to believe lies about our identity, making us feel disconnected from the source of life, love, and belonging. This disconnection manifests in our emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. It encourages a sense of abandonment, frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness.
How else can I frame shame except to say that it is something deeply embedded in our sense of identity, shaping how we see and relate to ourselves, God and others. The idea that shame is an “identity wound” suggests that it can go beyond isolated moments or actions, affecting how we view our worth and place in this world. When we buy into a shame-based identity, it can impact nearly every aspect of our life, from our relationships to our ability to express our true divine selves. For me it has become abundantly clear that shame is every hurtful name I believe about myself that is not rooted in love. Shame is not guilt about having said or done something that requires us to take some kind of restorative action, but the belief that “I am wrong”. My personal belief is that shame is one of the most, if not THE most destructive emotional disease, and agreement with a shame-based identity is the beginning of ruin. In this context, the battle over what we believe about ourselves in relation to God becomes incredibly important. The language we hear spoken over ourselves and internalize, shapes how we see the world and how we live in it. It is this language of unworthiness and disconnection that Satan wants to spread. It’s a profound challenge, and in the end, the transformation of the world rests on us hearing and believing the message that we are, in fact, loved, made new, chosen and called by HIS name.
In the next post I want to practically talk about what shame is, how it can enter our beliefs and some tips on how to begin recognizing areas of shame in our beliefs.