CHRIST IS MY LIFE

CHRIST IS MY LIFE

True Love. Fully Alive.

‘I get to’ vs. ‘I have to’

Over the last while it seems to be that the struggle between flesh and spirit has been on my heart repeatedly. I guess that is often how it is when the Lord, through our very own daily experiences, experientially reveals to us a richer understanding of a certain aspect of Truth.  I have been asking the Holy Spirit for increased clarity on what it means for the mind to be set on the flesh versus the mind being set on the spirit. By no means do I feel that what I am being taught is exhaustive in nature, but I do feel that what I am currently learning before the Lord is very different from how I have previously understood the topic of the flesh versus the spirit.

In my reflections and conversation with the Holy Spirit my attention seems to be caught by the reality of the religious system which always seems to be deficit-conscious. What I mean by this is that a religious mindset begins from the place of personal lack, weakness and failure and is unrelenting in placing the demand on us to “have to do something” in order to compensate for the lack or mitigate for the failure that has occurred within self. Essentially the mind set on the flesh begins with “I am a failure, I have messed up, I am deficient, I am unworthy”, and leads to life decisions founded on “I have to do this myself in order to overcome the failure that I am, or was in a previous season”. The focus is on personal works and effort with an attempt to purify from the outside in. This focus is not only one of striving, but also a continual reminder of a negative track-record. The faith system and mind set on the spirit is righteousness-conscious. By this I mean that true faith sees the unlimited capability, purity, wonder and awe of who Jesus is with our hope set on who He is in our stead, and then invites us into the exploration of what we “get to do” because of what Christ has done for us. It is an invitation for partnership and co-creating with our Father and creator.

I believe that WHAT we believe is the most important place to start when wanting to see transformation in any area of our lives. As followers of Christ we are called ‘believers’ after all, not ‘doers’ (NOTE: this is not meant to be an excuse for sitting passively and doing nothing). However, I am certain that everything we do and say is ultimately the tell of what we are believing.

Not too long ago I had woken up early to spend some quiet time with the Lord. On this particular morning I felt like my brain had come a little loose. I was groggy, unfocused and caught off guard by how quickly I was stirred awake within one verse of reading. It all began in Romans 4:1, “What then shall we say was gained by Abraham, our forefather according to the flesh?” Immediately I felt the Holy Spirit engage me by rephrasing this question. It was not an audible voice, but it was distinctly a voice other than my own engaging in conversation; He asked me, “What was gained by Abraham when he renewed his mind on his perceived deficiencies?” I don’t claim to know all he could have been thinking, but undoubtedly he must have continuously looked at the clock of his life and thought he was running out of time. His body was aging and he had never successfully had a child up until this point. Perhaps there was a history in his family of couples having difficulty getting pregnant, or maybe a close friend had experienced trouble conceiving and he feared the same for his own life. Of course I don’t know these details, but what I do know is that we each renew our minds by whatever we regularly come into agreement with, both good and bad. Perhaps Abraham’s thoughts about having a child went something like this: “I’m getting too old; time is running out; I’m not worthy of this blessing because my forefathers and I were idol worshippers, etc.” As Abraham strengthened the belief whose focus was his deficiency, weakness or negative speculation, he was compelled to have to do something to try and compensate for that weakness. As he looked at his options and noticed his wife’s servant Hagar, he saw her as the means by which he would have to bring about the good promised to him, because there’s no way he would be worthy of God’s goodness and grace to fulfill this promise.

Let me share a very personal example of this playing out in my own life. For years now I would say I battle an overwhelming guilt whenever I workout or think of working out. I have always enjoyed athletics, playing sports as a kid and teen, and in my adult years enjoying fitness as a whole. A more holistic way of living caught my attention in my early twenties and I am forever grateful for some of the knowledge I have been able to acquire along the way. But over the past 5-7 years I can’t seem to shake an overwhelming sense of condemnation every time I workout or think of working out. The weight of this guilt has undoubtedly drained me of real physical energy and caused me to feel an exhaustion that can’t seem to be remedied with supplements, insulin, longer nights of sleep, etc. RECENTLY, however, I have begun to experience a real shift in my energy levels. I won’t get into the details of some of the practical health things I have implemented that I feel are benefiting me, but I would love to share what I believe to be the ultimate reason for the shift in my energy. My mind renewal for many years has been negative and lie-based. Satan knows that if he comes to us with a pitch fork and horns we will reject him, so he has to come to us in the form of thoughts that present themselves as things we value and esteem. Unfortunately, because of my strong desire to not live for myself but for God, my mind renewal focus has presented itself as moral, therefore making it almost impossible to detect the Untruth. My track record reminds me that I struggled with my weight as a kid, that I battled an eating disorder in my adult years, that I have been overly concerned with my image before, that I am sometimes overly introspective and so can make myself the centre of my world, and that I have battled comparing my looks to others. Thoughts replay in my mind like “you have a history of being self-indulgent; you need to work hard to prove that you can deny yourself; the longer you can go between workouts the more you will prove that you have denied yourself, etc.” When I renew my mind on the failures of my past it is easy to believe the lie that severe self-denial or even self-judgment are the means by which I can achieve holiness. In addition to this, because I desire to walk humbly with my God, I have also come to believe the lie that I can’t ever feel too good about myself or feel confident, the fear being that I’m still that old person…I still am my negative track record.

The apostle Paul mentions this dynamic of severe asceticism. Colossians 2:20-23 says “For you were included in the death of Christ and have died with him to the religious system and powers of this world. Don’t retreat back into being bullied by the standard and opinions of religion – for example, their strict requirements, “You can’t associate with that person!” or, “Don’t eat that!” or, “You can’t touch that!” These are the doctrines of men and corrupt customs that are worthless to help you spiritually. For though they may appear to possess the promise of wisdom in their submission to God through the deprivation of their physical bodies, it is actually nothing more than empty rules rooted in religious rituals!”

These rituals find their enduring strength in a deficit-conscious religious system whose aim is to get us to believe that we aren’t in fact new creations but still every weakness and mistake we were before we got swept up in the grace of Christ and made wholly different people. Christ put to death everything about me that enslaved me to self-concern, fear, jealousy, control, unforgiveness, etc. That’s not who I am anymore, and this Truth is actually the reality of every human on earth. The difference is that some believe it to be true and others don’t…or at least not yet! My mind renewal must shift to an agreement with Truth that I am actually holy, set apart, made new, self-controlled, filled with love for God and others, and kingdom-minded. Yes, there are facts about my history. But Truth trumps fact.  

For me in this particular area of my life I am experiencing an infusion of joy, physical strength and energy as I actively practice agreeing with the Truth of who God says I am. The lie that I “have to do something” to overcome my history is beginning to grow weaker and I am experiencing both peace and joy as I get to workout and choose to take care of my physical body in a way that brings delight to the Lord and myself. The negative reminders of who I was and what I have battled are dissipating in the wind of God’s love and my discernment for God’s voice versus a lying voice increases in clarity as I behold his nature more and more. He continues to reveal a clearer understanding of his nature and heart to me through a gentle weaving of encounters, relationships and knowledge of scripture. I so appreciate these words from the apostle Paul:

And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.” (Philippians 1:9-11)

I pray that you would invite the Holy Spirit into the areas of your life that feel heavy, where peace and joy are lacking, and that together with Him you would be able to uncover lies you might believing and replace them with Truth. My prayer for you is that as you get to know experientially the love of God, you would become increasingly more convinced of his goodness and kindness towards you!

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