In my last post I shared about learning to occupy the land of giants and how spying-out seasons are a gift from the Lord to train us in being able to defeat the giants of wrong mindsets that we will come up against in our promiseland. Recently I was walking with a friend and we were discussing the Holy Spirit’s unparalleled ability to take simple words that we speak and anoint them so that they bring necessary and powerful grace to move forward in victory in our lives. As it so happened this friend unknowingly spoke simple words which the Holy Spirit hovered over and catalyzed in my heart to bring a new level of strength as I am myself in a process of learning to defeat giants in my thought life. She shared about a simple morning routine for herself in which she declares over any area of her life (appearance, skills, relationships etc.) that might be more prone to insecurity that day as “good enough”. She laughed as she casually shared this, but as I went to bed that night the Holy Spirit began to show me the power of these words to help defeat a certain giant in my life: the giant of negative comparison.
Now before we jump to the conclusion that the words “good enough” could be misconstrued to mean a defeated and hopeless type of settling in an area of our lives, I want to make the case that they could also become a powerful declaration in our lives as we learn to defeat negative comparison. As I reflected on these two words the Holy Spirit directed my attention to 1 Samuel 18.
We find in this chapter of scripture the telling of King Saul’s jealousy and hatred towards David. In the previous chapter David has defeated Goliath and has become good friends with King Saul’s son, Jonathan. Saul has welcomed David into his home and it says of David that he went out and was successful wherever Saul sent him, so Saul set him over the men of war and this pleased all the people and Saul’s servants. This is good news so far. But then it all changes. “As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. And the women sang to one another as they celebrated, “Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” And Saul eyed David from that day on.” (1 Samuel 18:6-9)
This isn’t the first time that Saul’s insecurity is highlighted to us. From when Saul first appears on the scene when the prophet Samuel delivers the news (1 Samuel 9) that he is God’s appointed first king of Israel, we see Saul’s tendency to battle with negative comparison, and his pattern of renewing his mind with his perceived weaknesses and failings rather than celebrating God’s strength on his behalf. The following chapters also reveal how Saul was prone to exalting people’s expectations and judgments over God’s word for him. It is evident as we read that Saul was indeed a handsome man, a mighty warrior and worthy of being recognized. But David was a greater warrior and I believe Saul’s insecurity and emotional immaturity ultimately caused him to lose the kingdom to David. The Holy Spirit is bringing tremendous breakthrough into my life as I digest the truth revealed in this story that God will bring people into my life that do what I do, but better. Some of us actually will find freedom today in this simple revelation. God has and will continue to bring people into your life that do what you do, but better, and how you handle that will determine if you are able to steward the increase God wants to bring your way. This will be a test for us to see if we are able to not only celebrate the grace on another’s life to do something so well that we also care about, but also, through thanksgiving continue to use our gifts and be who he has called us to be without falling into negative comparison, calling what God has given us or made us to be as “not good enough”. I wonder what would have changed for Saul if rather than giving into negative comparison he practiced this truth regularly in his life: Rejoice always [I praise you God for the thousands you have given me victory over], pray without ceasing [God please continue to strengthen your kingdom here and make your name known among Israel], give thanks in all circumstances [thank you for the teammate I have in David and for granting him the ability to defeat tens of thousands for our nation]; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)?
If we allow a person who kills tens of thousands to keep us from valuing our thousands we will be unwise. I believe that our Father God is always wanting to give us more responsibility and privilege, and he looks to be able to trust us with more by how we are able to celebrate and champion others who do what we do, and by our ability to rejoice in who He has made us to be.
In my own life negative comparison has been an unconscious way of engaging with the world around me. It has not been uncommon for me to come away from a walk with a friend, a time of teaching at church, a workout, dropping off kids at school etc. and get caught up in negative comparison. This includes thoughts like, “my marriage isn’t as good as my friend’s because she has more opportunity to have alone time with her husband; I’m not as fun or outgoing as the other teacher at church – I don’t know why I’m volunteering here; why didn’t I lift heavier in that workout…the people I worked out with probably think I’m so weak; the kids were so quiet in the car on the way to school…I bet better parents are always able to engage with their kids in meaningful ways.” This negative chatter that our mind quietly engages in constantly undermines our abilities, personality and gift-mix and actually stalls us out in life. Stalling us is what Satan loves to do. The kingdom of darkness looks for us to sit in the places of doubt and double-mindedness because when we live in doubt we don’t advance forward. We were created not to run away or stall out, but to move forward in victory and confidence. How liberating it has been for me to find out that this negative chatter, although common, is NOT normal and I have been set free in Christ to actually have a higher and better thought.
Thankfulness is probably one of the most powerful spiritual weapons God is teaching me to wield against the fiery arrows of the enemy. It’s a weapon that requires muscles to hold up and wield. Getting buff in thanksgiving has felt initially like a forced and superficial workout but as I train more I can tell my spiritual strength and endurance is increasing. What felt inauthentic at the beginning is now becoming a non-negotiable way of life. The Holy Spirit is training me to praise God for who He has made me to be while giving me hope that Jesus is completing a good work in my life and He will see it through to completion. This means that when the negative chatter tries to sneak into my life by climbing over the back part of the fence, causing me to feel inadequate as a parent, I stop it and I REJOICE saying “Father, thank you that you know my kids and that you have made me the perfect mother for them. I am doing a good enough job as I lead them and I rejoice in who you have called me to be for them. I PRAY for continued wisdom as I mother them and ask that you would help me in the areas where I require growth and improvement. I THANK YOU for the people you have brought into my life who are walking in great success with their families and I anticipate that their wisdom and victory will benefit me and my children.”
For me, good enough is becoming a powerful declaration when I find myself tempted to engage in negative comparison regarding my identity and the roles and responsibilities I have given myself to. On a practical note, negative comparison is such a time-waster. God is inviting us into the opportunity today to swap out the time spent doubting our abilities and talking down to ourselves with the confident declaration that who we are and how we are showing up is good enough for today! Also, when we recognize that what we are doing is good enough, we are able to show up the next time and continue in growth because the voice of intimidation that comes from nitpicking our personalities and skills no longer drives us into hiding and shrinking back. Good enough is a celebration of who God has made us to be while we wait with hope-filled anticipation that He will continue to perfect us even as Christ is perfect.