Have you ever heard of something called an orphaned or poverty mindset – It might be known as something called a scarcity mindset in psychology? I don’t know if I am able to adequately describe it in one concise sentence, but at the most basic level I believe it describes a person’s way of thinking (and therefore living) in which the perspective held is that resources are limited and someone else’s gain of those resources/blessings/gifts etc. automatically means less for oneself. Unfortunately, I discovered over a number of years that this is how I lived. Over the last ten years if you would have approached me and called this out in my life, I probably would have strongly disagreed with you for many reasons. Really good reasons in fact. I don’t know if I would have been able to humbly allow for a Holy Spirit inspection of my life because of pain I had experienced in relationships, wrongs I had suffered (real and perceived), and fears that were ruling my heart. Over the past few years I have had the privilege of participating in conferences and teaching sessions where Kris Vallotton spoke. His biblical teaching on this topic has been painful but good for me as the Word of God prunes me, bringing freedom and release as Truth faithfully does. I’ll list a few of the most arresting signs mentioned which indicated the presence of a poverty/orphaned mindset in my own life:
- Expecting exclusive relationships from friends – keeping my eye on people who might become friends with people I am currently friends with, working hard to not be replaced.
- Assigning negative motives to people who seemed to prosper more than me – Perhaps jealousy in my heart allowed me to build a negative case against people, not realizing how much abundance the Father has for me.
- Frightened to embrace opportunities of growth and challenge and taking risks – afraid that my potential failings will decrease my worth, and that God’s wrath is steadily waiting to be kindled against me if I mess up.
- Expecting bad to happen – a foreboding sense concerning certain things in my life – because no one can receive a blessing and not have to pay for it somewhere, right?
When I live with an orphaned mindset, I feel like I don’t belong and am undesirable. I fear that I am Unworthy. I live constantly defending my territory, terrified that someone else’s value and worth will take away from mine. The belief that I start from a place of lack and exclusion only welcomes a performance-based way of living in an attempt to establish worth, meaning and belonging through what I do. This is religion at its core. I remember Robert Liardon in his book called Gods Generals: The Roaring Reformers mentioning in all his travels around the world, seeing all kinds of demonic activity and influence on humanity, that he had not witnessed a demonic spirit so devastating as a religious spirit. The thing with a religious spirit is that it is never satisfied. We can never sacrifice enough, volunteer enough, achieve enough successes, alter enough about ourselves to be acceptable, etc. It’s never enough. If we believe at our core that we are unworthy, we become easy targets for accepting religious performance; whether atheistic or traditionally religious, the lie that we are unworthy and in lack beckons us to perform to be filled.
How beautifully the apostle Paul reminds us of the Truth of our identity: “For all who are led by the Spirt of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear [of being unworthy], but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry “Abba! Father!”! The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” Romans 8:14-16
When I reflect on my journey so far I see that our heavenly Father is working in my life to bring me to a place where my life (thoughts, actions and attitudes) are LOVE based. Love is the only antidote and remedy for fear… “there is no fear in LOVE because perfect LOVE casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18
God himself, Father Son and Spirit, is Love. He is the remedy for our fear of unworthiness. His declaration about who we are because of what HE has already done through Jesus Christ is what sets us free to be able to live with a deep sense of being loved and chosen, able to break free from the shackles of jealousy, manipulation and control, unforgiveness, suspicion and cynicism.
Where do you need his love? He is waiting and ready to minister to you the revelation of your worth and your unshakeable value. Please reach out if you want prayer or if you identify with anything mentioned above!